PTR #60 - 33 business, coaching & life lessons.

Plus, overcoaching and free PT slots.

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Business

33 business, coaching & life lessons.

On Monday, I turned 33.

As I always get reflective on my birthday (and as I did this last year), I thought I'd do something different with this week’s newsletter and create a list of business, coaching, and life lessons.

Brew yourself something warm (or cold if that's more your style), as this is a longer-than-usual read.

Here we go:

12 Business Lessons

  1. Be a relationship marketer - The more I think and learn about how I like to market (and be marketed to), the more I realise it's by building relationships with people. I try to do this online by providing helpful, valuable content with these newsletters and social media content. I prefer doing it this way because it feels better (I don't enjoy or feel great being super direct with my marketing), and it lends itself to a better working relationship if someone decides to buy. They already know, like and trust me.

  2. Write handwritten thank you notes. When did you last receive a handwritten TY note? It never happens anymore, and yet it's still just as appreciated. If you've never done it for your clients (or for people who have helped you in your journey), consider doing it.

  3. Get to know your customers and their problems really well - The better you understand the people you serve, the better you'll be able to market and help those people. Surveys work well, but ideally, you get on the phone or do it in-person and interview them about their journey.

  4. Plan your week - Many time management issues arise because we feel out of control. Planning helps this. Try taking 15-20 minutes today to plan your next week (this newsletter issue talks you through my process.)

  5. Ask for help - If you have a business problem, there's a good chance someone else has overcome it. Issues are better out in the open than kept in.

  6. Lifestyle-centric career - H/T Cal Newport. I want a business that offers me a good lifestyle. I'm not in this to burn myself into the ground, work every hour available or earn millions. When thinking about your business, it can be helpful to consider what you want your lifestyle to look like and then work from there.

  7. Have the difficult conversation - I could've saved myself so much time and stress by having important business conversations sooner about things like payments, consistent late cancellations, and unrealistic expectations. There's no doubt these conversations are difficult, but they become more and more challenging if you don't deal with them quickly.

  8. Be confident when discussing price - Easier said than done, but it is important to say your price succinctly and confidently. Something I used to add after I'd said my price was, "I know, it's expensive". Don't do that. It makes you seem doubtful, and that's the last thing you want someone to feel when trying to get them to sign up. Your price is your price. If you don't believe you're worth what you charge, others won't either.

  9. Get out of your business to improve your business - Go and shadow another trainer local to you, book yourself onto a professional development event, or go and spend an afternoon with a gym owner at a gym you like the look of. This tip also feeds into taking up new hobbies. Yes, work hard, but don't let it take over your life (unless you want it to.)

  10. I don't need more education, I need more action - I've spent so much time in education-mode. Although it’s great to learn, it's a bit pointless if most of it never takes you anywhere. This especially applies to new service offerings like going online or starting semi-private. Don't sit on a good idea that keeps coming up for months - take an action step and move it forward.

  11. Make time to think - When was the last time you sat with a pen, some paper and emptied your head? We are constantly 'on' nowadays. The buzz of a notification is never more than a reach away. Create a bit of space, even just 15 minutes, to sit down somewhere quiet and empty your brain.

  12. Test & experiment - One principle that has served me well in getting clients and growing my business is a willingness to experiment with different ideas. If I hear of an idea (on a podcast or in a book) that I think sounds fun and likely to work, I test it. A recent example of this is launching a quiz as a lead generation tool. So far, 107 PTs have gone through this. 17 of whom have booked a call. Those conversations have led me to change part of my mentoring business model, and they’ve inspired an upcoming course I’ll be releasing. Maybe there’s an idea for local area marketing you’ve had or a new service you’re keen to launch - go and try it. The results might surprise you.

11 Coaching Lessons

  1. Be interested, not interesting—I first heard this quote from Steven Ledbetter, and it's stuck with me ever since. I agree with 99% of it, as I do think it's helpful to be interesting as well as interested. But the point it's getting at is that it's more important to be interested in people than to be interesting yourself. People love to talk about themselves, so be interested in them and their lives.

  2. Normalise ambivalence - Ambivalence is when your client states both reasons for and against change. It's an incredibly normal yet frustrating part of behaviour change. You see it in your clients when they say, "I really want to do more exercise, but I'm struggling to make the time". Your job when you hear it is to focus more on the positive (I want to do more) and explore how they might be able to make the time.

  3. Listening is a superpower - Listening is not innate, and it is not something that we all do naturally. And there is a biggg difference between listening and waiting for your turn to speak. If you're anything like me, you'll notice how often you simply wait for your turn to add your piece.

  4. Learn about self-determination theory - SDT states that we cannot motivate people, we can only create an environment within which they feel motivated. The way you do this is by supporting people's psychological needs for autonomy, competence and relatedness. It had a massive effect on my coaching - probably more than any other piece of professional development. Where can you learn about it? Lift the Bar has a course I created a few years ago. This book is great, too.

  5. Make your PT sessions amazing - the PT session is your product. Viewing them like a product has helped me see them as something I should always look to improve. Just like Apple is constantly improving the iPhone. Here's a helpful way to think about your PT sessions: pre, during and post. How can you improve how you run your sessions pre, during and post? E.g. automate text appointment confirmations for pre, learn about coaching science during and send a voice message to follow-up after each session for the post.

  6. The clients I'm fighting the hardest to help are often the ones I can't - Some clients simply aren't ready for change, and I cannot force them to adhere, attend or do anything. I can only create an environment that supports the change they seek. When I want clients to change so much, I often become a coach who lectures and pressures without even realising it. This coaching stance is rarely effective for change.

  7. Remember the small things - people like people who take note of their life. If one of your clients starts lighting up telling about a project they are working on or when talking about their kid's gymnastics progress, make a note of that and ask about it regularly. The small stuff isn't small when it's added up.

  8. See yourself as a professional guide - there's a fine line between becoming BFFs with your clients and being a kind of drill sergeant. The best coaches see themselves somewhere in the middle, like professional guides who collaborate with their clients to create a plan. A guide who also points out potholes, weighs up the pros and cons of an approach and takes the time to ask where you'd like to go next. (H/T to the book Change Maker for this tip)

  9. Your clients will be more likely to buy into your ideas if they like you - I know this is a simple one, but it matters. If your clients don't like you all that much, they won't listen or stick with you. How do you become more likeable? Think about the people you like most - what about them do you like? Oh, and if you haven’t read How to Win Friends & Influence People, push it up your book list.

  10. People move differently because they are built differently - I attended a cadaver a few years back and saw four different hip structures. Each was totally different. It hammered this point home for me - people move differently, and it's ok that they do. I used to be a stickler for 'perfect form'. Now, I work within a spectrum of form. I know roughly what I'm looking for, and as long as it's within that and the client tells me it feels good, I let them go ahead.

  11. Your clients will remember how you coached more than what you coached - The training aspect of a session is important, but the conversation piece is the bit people will remember.

10 Life Lessons

  1. Get outside—wow, Stuart, you're really giving us some revelatory tips here, aren't you? I know it's uber-obvious, but getting outside is associated with all kinds of good stuff. Put your phone down, turn off the TV, and get outside. It's even better if you can find a forest and do some forest bathing.

  2. Walk - Some walks are for music, some are for connection with a partner or friend, some are for ideation, and some are for headspace. I never regret going for a walk.

  3. Health is wealth - I like viewing my health like a pension. I'm investing in it for later life to live on my terms.

  4. Say sorry first - Have you recently argued with your partner, kids or parents? Say sorry first. You won't regret it. I've been trying to be specific with my apologies, too, so I'm not just saying an empty apology.

  5. Therapy is helpful - I've got a therapist I speak to once every 4-6 weeks. I've also had marriage counselling to help manage some relationship issues. Few of us make it out of childhood without some wounds that make life harder. Therapy helps us understand ourselves better and suffer less. In my opinion, both of these factors make for a better life.

  6. Love people/ experiences, not things - Things are nice. I bought a new pair of shorts recently, and they have improved my life. But I get much more out of spending time with the people I love and experiencing new things.

  7. Aim for a calm life - Maybe it's just me, but this is really the life I'm after. I know it won't always be calm, but I can aim for it to be a bit calmer than last year.

  8. Timing is critical to instruction - The best teachers know that timing is critical to effective teaching. I often find myself trying to teach people in my life at the worst moments. This advice helps me understand I can always come back to the things I deem as important at a better time.

  9. Do more of what you enjoy - take a second and think about what you love doing. The things you walk away from and are like "that was great!". Do more of those things.

  10. Remember that we're all humans who make mistakes - nobody escapes this. We all make mistakes and have (many) moments of ridiculousness. It's part of the human experience. This one matters to me because I tend to overestimate the confidence of other people, which affects how I feel about myself. Nobody is perfect.

This Week’s Tip: Got free slots?

If you’ve got some free PT slots next week and you want more clients, consider giving them away for free.

Offer them out on your socials.

Or message your current clients and see if they have any friends, family or colleagues who might like to take one.

You could spend that time on canva creating a post for Instagram… or you could train someone who might just turn into a client (or who might refer someone to you.)

Here’s an example script you could use on your stories and Facebook wall:

“Wanna try personal training for free? Next week, I have [insert number] of slots available. If you want one, [tell them what to do e.g. ping me a message, hit this sticker etc] No cost attached and I won’t hard sell you into ongoing training or anything like that. I’d just love a few people to take these who would benefit from getting some exercise in and being coached in strength training properly.”

H/T to Chris Burgess from Lift the Bar for the inspiration behind this one.

Social Post

Hands up if you used to be part of the overcoaching club 🙌

I used to try to give my clients every single cue they could possibly need to move well.

And they’d move worse.

Too much info gets in the way of learning.

Give your clients 1-2 cues, and then haud yer wheest (Scottish for hold your tongue.)

Thanks so much for reading.

Until next Friday, Stuart.

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